The Kerrang! Awards at The Brewery - Part II...the aftershow of the aftershow!!

Back at the coveted Kerrang! Awards ceremony. A bunch of bands got their awards and Masto Brent sitting next to me confided that he liked them ALL (that included Placebo). I was so impressed when Alice in Chains got on stage to pick up the Icon Award that I have no idea what they said. I bet vocalist William Duvall mentioned he was just a hired gun and was stoked to be part of this legendary band. He needs to come up with a new script. He's been in the band a few years now, hasnt he. A huge fan of their dirgeful tunes, it was exciting to be around them. Without them noticing me in the slightest.



Alice In Chains pick up their Icon Award at the Kerrang! Awards (pic by Pamela Steuri).

Somebody whispered that Slipknot's Corey Taylor got an award for the shortest vocalist with the largest neck. Who could have such clarity of mind at that time of night? It was only 8pm though I doubt anybody in the room was still sober then (we do tend to believe others to be a reflection of ourselves, dont we). I assume that co-host Scott Ian was not mashed. The Anthrax guitarist looked metal as fuck in his non-descript black and leathery type apparel, whilst the Slipknot vocalist resembled a Saturday Night Fever pimp. He carried that baby blue look with panache and was very charming up there. Well done to those two boys, must say. They couldnt have picked a shor...better duo this year.



Birgit Martinussen with Corey 'Saturday Night Fever pimp' Taylor at the K Awards (pic by Pamela Steuri).

Rob Trujillo, representing Metallica, went on stage to pick up the Best Album award for 'Death Magnetic'. Slipknot won Best Live Band and Best International Band and Corey Taylor grabbed them both up wearing a bag on his head (most probably to make a clear distinction between his hosting and award winner roles). Machine Head won the Inspiration Award. Limp Bizkit? Hall of Fame. WTF. When they got on stage, I remember thinking:- "What is Ollie from Legz Akimbo doing up there?"



Ollie from Legz Akimbo (League of Gentlemen character).

But it was actually Limp Bizkit's guitarist Wes Borland with a new hairstyle. The eccentric guitarist went for the greasy-looking bleached barnet.



Here Pamela with Wes Borland (pic by Pamela Steuri).

Not the same specimen that Holly Van Hagar and I lusted after during the Black Light Burns performance at the Fillmore a few months ago. Ugh.



Wes Borland live with Black Light Burns. Droolworthy.

At the main aftershow, Nelly introduced me to Mark Adams who is in charge of Kerrang TV and is involved in a Channel 4 production...? Ahem. I was so delightfully mashed by then that he could have told me he was the new president of Burundi and I would have believed him. I had exchanged some emails with him a few years back and I couldnt believe how handsome he was in real life. Blond hair, blue eyes. Typical Burundian then. After 'making flirties', I went around looking for Chewie.



Chewbacca attended the Kerrang! Awards this year.

On my disjointed walk around the various halls, I bumped into the Lacuna Coil guys who were joking around behind a girl whose skirt looked too short for comfort. I believe one of them knelt down on the floor pretending to eat her ass whilst another took a pic of it. And the girl was oblivious to it all. Italians...



Out in the foyer, I got assaulted by Kerrang!'s ex Ad Sales biatch, Birgit Martinussen (pic by Pamela Steuri).

Birgit has a tendency to wrestle people at disparate times and that was obviously my turn. I have limited wrestling experience but I got her in a headlock right away. However, a short dress, fishnet tights and five-inch heels hardly make the most appropriate wrestling gear.



I got Birgit in a headlock here (pic by Pamela Steuri).

I lost like a snotty little girl as I chuckled till I cried. The thought of punters getting a glimpse of my miniscule stripper thong was too much to bear. In that horrible light, at least.



I'm done right here (pic by Pamela Steuri).



Darren 'let's party' Sanders watched and cheered (pic by Pamela Steuri).



Then we "girls" got up, brushed ourselves off and without missing a beat, we also posed for pictures. Such pros (from left to right, Pamela, Pee, Birgit, Lucy - pic by Pamela Steuri).

Incidentally, Birgit also wrestled Shat's main man Jeff Wood (ex-Dillinger Escape Plan) outside some bar in New Jersey a few years back. I do not know who won but Birgit has been recently wondering why Jeff is not talking to her these days.



Jeff Wood from Shat (ex-Dillinger Escape Plan) in stage gear.

I managed to lose Nelly but bumped into Masto Brann who introduced me to Robert Trujillo. It's a dirty job but someone's gotta shake the bassist's hand at some point, eh. Brann then dragged me down to this underground chamber. Time to get punished for arriving at the ceremony late? Chance would be a fine thing. We just ended up in this room with a bunch of peeps that did not want to get wrestled to the ground by K's staff. Anthrax, Slipknot, Machine Head members and their various partners drank, chatted and smoked like they were above the law. Lee introduced me to Robert Trujillo's wife - a classy blond French lady with a Princess Leia type hair style. "Is it a hairpiece or your real hair," I wondered aloud. "Oh, no, it's my hair," she replied giggling. "It is very long when I let it down." My type of girl.

Rob came over to whisk her away whilst Masto Brann grabbed my hand and dragged me out. "We're going to the Met Bar with Rob," the drummer explained in a haste as I was lost in a haze. On our way out I pulled Masto Brent with us. I had no idea how I managed to run on the cobbled pavement outside wearing my Betty Boop type shoes without falling flat on my face. Brann pushed me into a car and off we went to this other bar. Lee joined us a little later. Michelle from Roadrunner was there with the Machine Head guys. The RR iron lady (aka the label's Head of Press) was wearing a pretty floral dress. I offered to wrestle her. She agreed to do it outside. I giggled. She told me I was lame. No, Michelle, I have just remembered that I am wearing a silly dress and even sillier shoes. And I dont particularly fancy lathering my tights right now. How 'poo poo pee do' of me.



Masto Brann watches over Masto madman Brent Hinds at the Met Bar. Too late, mate. We were all too fucked by then...

I do not remember much of anything else but I must have made it home cos I woke up the following day and my tights were still in one piece. On the floor.

The day after, I was supposed to return to Milan and I missed my plane. I booked myself on the next available flight (6am the day after) and I spent the night at Stanstead, drinking coffee and updating my Facebook status. Life in the fast lane.

Phil Dowsett from Fundaforest, Greentreeco and Zoofari came over to meet me and keep me company. We have planned to join forces to make this planet a better place. Youthful folly (without the "youth"). Watch this space...

More irrelevant bollocks coming up, will update as soon as I have a spare minute.

Like most of you, love only one and the rest, get ready for Bloodstock and Reading. I'll miss both events this year to hang out with my mum.

Mashed Head Pee xx

The Kerrang! Awards at The Brewery - Part I...

The day of the Kerrang! Awards. Exciting. Masto Brann gave me the choice of going to his hotel and getting in a cab with the band or turning up at The Brewery at 18:15 so I could walk into the K Awards venue with them. I opted to meet them at The Brewery and managed to get there five minutes too late. They had already gone in. Luckily, the lovely Emma from Warner came out to give me the ticket and I queued up to get the wristband. In front of me, the guys from Alice In Chains and behind me, Chester Bennington from Linkin Park. Awkward.

I went in and apologised to Brann, he introduced me to Stephanie (Corey's girl), I kissed and hugged Troy and then I went outside for a cigarette. There I bumped into Marco, Lacuna Coil's bassist. A slice of home, awesome. He and Mouse entertained me with their Italian slang about picking up chicks. Somehow they explained that Italian women are tough to get in the sack but once they give "it" to you, it's worth the wait and hard work. That's most probably what Chewie thought after we finally slept together last week. "Awesome" was the way he described it. And I cannot believe I actually gave into my favourite Wookie after two and a half years...it was totally worth it. Gaaaaargle.



Here with Marco from Lacuna Coil

As I chatted to the Lacuna Coil boys, Mike Inez from AIC came out for a cigarette. I went a little stiff (my five-inch heel got stuck on the irregular pattern of the cobbled pavement at the venue). Lacuna Coil toured with AIC in Australia so the boys hugged and kissed each other and exchanged a few pleasantries...Marco introduced me to Mike and as we all got locked in conversation, the AIC bassist wondered how yesterday's Sonisphere show went down. The LC guys didnt attend the festival so that was my cue to spit a few words out in the presence of the member of one of my favourite bands growing up..."The sound was perfect and I enjoyed the two new songs," I offered. "Which ones did we play," Mike asked. "I cant remember their titles, I just know what string to hit on my bass..." How cute are these artists that pretend to be total retards?! Jerry Cantrell also came out for a cigarette and he looked serene...unlike the last time I met him - it was 2002 and three months after Staley died - when he was constantly in a bad mood, slightly inhebriated and walked out on the interview. Blessssssssss

I went inside to mingle and chatted with Sarah (Lees, Century Media) and the other Lacuna Coil boys, saw Cristina and glam CM boy Dave Gulvin. I also bumped into a dear buddy I used to hang out with years before, Amanda Williams who won awards for best pr for the Bloodhound Gang's 'Hooray For Boobies' campaign back in the day. I then posed for pics with Machine Head Dave McClain and Masto Brann, then Brann and I made our way into the ceremony hall. We sat on the Masto table that was near the stage. I told him that I felt they'd win the award for Best Video. "We are the only ones nominated in that category," he joked. As it turned out, Mastodon DID win that award for 'Oblivion' and they'd had been told in advance. "Why the fuck didnt you tell me?" I raised my right eyebrow (I was too sloshed to lift the other one up). "You said you felt we'd win," Brann grinned. "And you were right, so..."



Masto Brann is always so sweet with me...

The ceremony began shortly after Troy, Darren and Brent sat down. Squeezed between Brent and Brann, I knew that entertainment would mostly come from our table. Brent started to throw stuff at the stage pretty much from the start so I encouraged him by pointing at items on the table that were loose and useless. I didnt expect him to go for the full beer cans but that's Mr Hinds. He does not discriminate. We ate rubber snakes (sweets), drank beer and white wine...I got inhebriated very quickly though I managed to behave myself. There's always a first time, eh?



With Masto madman, Brent Hinds...

As I looked around the room, I saw Alice In Chains and Robert Trujillo from Metallica at the table behind us. Linkin Park and Buckcherry on our left and Limp Bizkit two tables to our right. It was both surreal and indifferent at the same time. I was at the table with my favourite peeps anyway. Remember that mantra 'there could never be enough Mastodon in my life?" It still stands and right now I wonder how far that'll go. The Grammys next year?

Gotta get ready to catch my plane back to Milan now. In Part II of this super irrelevant blog, what happened when Limp Bizkit went on stage, why did Corey Taylor picked up an award wearing a brown bag and what went on during the aftershow, aside Ad Sales Birgit Martinussen wrestling me to the ground in the foyer? Plus, Brann dragged me over to the Met Bar with various members of Anthrax, Slipknot, Metallica, Machine Head etc...a surreal night seen from the eyes of a drunken Biatch hanging out with her favourite Masto peeps.

One band was missed - Coheed and Cambria. Luckily, their manager Blaze was hanging out at the ceremony. Always a pleasure to see him.



Here with Blaze James, manager of the awesome Coheed and Cambria

Loathe most of you, still love only one - Chewie and the rest get lost in Wes Borland's newly bleached barnet.

Mashed Head Pee :) xx

ps. more pics of this night on Facebook...

Sonisphere festival, 2nd Aug - $200 haircuts, Alice in Chains, Mastodon, Lamb of God and the rest!

I slept on the floor in a room I shared with Nelly, Silvye and Nina at the Holiday Inn in Stevenage. I wore my back ache with pride on Sunday 'cos I was still high on Sancho from the day before. Excited about the more metal proposition on the bill that day and looking forward to seeing Chewie meant that I only had one meal that day: breakfast. Who needs to injest food to generate fuel when your adrenalin reserves are in overdrive? I had no idea what to expect from Chewie that day though I was looking forward to seeing him. As Nelly and Nina went on to work, Silvye and I made our way to the site in a very leisurely fashion. First person we bumped into when we got there was Masto drummer, Brann Dailor. Gosh, always a pleasure, Brann is fun to chat with and whilst he went off to sort some stuff out with his tm, Silvye and I made our way to the big stage to watch Killing Joke.



The show lasted 30mins but it was ace. Jaz Coleman still resembles a nepharious man of the cloth notwithstanding the fact that life has ploughed a few extra lines on his face. Did they play 'Life Like Blood'? Yes.

We also watched Lamb of God on the main stage. As Silvye, Gillian and I got there, Lamb of God had been on for a couple of songs. This young dude comes over to me and whispers in my ears "Hey, would you flash your tits for me?" He seemed disappointed when I laughed so hard in his face that his features changed a la 'Mask'.

As we got out of the main festival enclosure to return to the vip artist bar after vocalist Randy Blythe bellowed such tracks as 'Walk with me in hell' and 'You got something to die for...', we bumped into Masto Brent. "Patrizia, do you know where our dressing room is?" Ahem. Brent, do I look like your tour manager? I directed him to the area where I'd last seen Brann and he ran off after Lamb of God's Randy Blythe who in the meantime had got off stage and was just a few metres ahead of us. Blesssssssss...love Brent.

After spending an hour or so in the vip bar, Silvye and I made our way to see Mastodon...very cool sound and fab show all 'round. From 'Oblivion', 'Crack the Skye' and 'The Czar' to 'Blood and Thunder' and a handful of older tunes, the Atlanta boys played to the most intense of their abilities. After the show, Silvye and I took a shortcut to return to the vip artist bar that meant we had to walk past the back of the stage. We bumped into the sweaty Masto boys and I introduced Silvye to Troy, Brann and 'let's party' Darren. Brann told me he had to do a bunch of interviews but wanted to have a beer and hang out afterwards. "Do you have the blue wristband?" He asked me. "Oh yeah," I reassured him. "We have the right wristbands, we can go everywhere..." As we were about to leave, someone screamed "Patrizia, you're not going to say hi to me, then?" It was Masto Bill. "You had a haircut since I saw you in Oslo?" I wondered. "Yeah, I did, in Copenhagen, it cost me $200..." Silvye and I then left them to it and returned to the vip artist bar and sat down with two guys we didnt know. Will works at SJM. "I met one of your colleagues, Johnny Phillips at the Coheed and Cambria Neverender shows in London last December...I'm a huge fan of Coheed, in fact my term of endearment for them is Sancho..."



Here The Biatches with Travis, Claudio and Mic from the awesome "Sancho" (aka. Coheed and Cambria) at Sonisphere...

Will then introduced me to his mate Craig who was sitting next to him. "Craig is obsessed with Coheed..." And that was it. Craig and I got locked into nerd conversation about Sancho whilst Silvye and Will just looked at each other, gobsmacked. Are these two for real? I could see it in their eyes. Now Craig is one of my friends on Facebook...



Here at the backstage vip bar with 'mad-for-Coheed' fan Craig, Sonisphere festival...

It was soon time to watch Feeder. I always thought of them as very wishy-washy back in the day. On Sunday, I loved their show. Hardly surprising as my taste in music has softened up in the last couple of years - Panic at the Disco, anyone? I bumped into Total Rock Talita Two-Shoes and caught up on a bunch of bollocks, including seeing Sancho the day before. "Did you get a "wide-on" during the Coheed and Cambria show?" Talita asked me. And what the fuck is that, I wondered..."It's the female equivalent to a "hard-on"," she retorted. "Think about it..." Aaaa-hhhhhhhhaaaaa!!! Yes, I did. No doubt about it.

After that, Silvye and Nelly went to watch Limp Bizkit. I stayed put and chatted with Lee, Nina and Masto fan Brian, an American guy that lives in the UK and follows Mastodon nearly as much as this Biatch over here. Then the girls from Nemhain (Amber and Lisa) and Paradise Lost Greg Mac came over to say hi...bumped into Aaron and Nick from PL too and told Nick I really wanted to see their show but they were on too early (11:50am). Nick told me I'd not missed anything. It was time to go over to see Alice in Chains. The '90s' grunge super group put on a fab 'greatest hits' show ('Would?', 'Them Bones', 'Man in a Box'...)whilst showcasing two songs ('A looking in view' and 'Check My Brain'), from the new album 'Black gives way to blue'. Cool gig, with vocalist William Duvall doing his best to balance those big shoes to fill and doing it in his personal style. Duvall hits all notes though he cannot fill them with the same growls and vibratos as Staley did. Layne spoiled us all with his distinguished delivery and I still miss it.

I made my way back to the vip artist bar after AIC to find Nelly and Silvye but bumped into Nina and Lee again. Masto Brann came over to say hi and mentioned he'd done all his interviews that day. He was now a free man with a beer in his hand. I asked him whether he would be going to the Kerrang! Awards the day after. He nodded and asked me whether I'd be there. "No, I wont be there this time 'cos there are no spaces for foreign media this year..." So Brann rang someone and when he came off the phone, he said "I can get you in..." Fuck yeah! That man is so good to me. Then Nelly and Silvye came over to get me to watch Nine Inch Nails. The gig was very intense if highly disappointing. Reznor obviously picked the most chilled out tunes in his repertoire and played for himself rather than the crowd. I could hear people chatter around me whilst the sound coming from the stage was rather low. We returned to the vip artist bar disappointed. To me, Nine Inch Nails make the ultimate music to fuck to. Though on Sunday, they entertained like old people make love. If they do at all, that is.

Next: Metallica...the headliners...James Hetfield...the birthday boy...wearing cream cake in front of 50 000 people (and loving it).

Head Mashed Pee

Sonisphere festival, 1st Aug - High on Sancho (aka Coheed and Cambria)!

Major boner all day due to the fact that Nelly and I would be seeing Coheed and Cambria live again - together. When we got to Knebworth, however, we were welcomed by the news that Sancho had missed their ferry from mainland Europe, they'd be late, had to be bumped off to a smaller stage and that was in case they made it to the site. PANIC! One of the reasons I came down to Sonisphere in the UK was to see Coheed and Cambria. So, Nelly took it upon herself to check the band's dressing room at regular intervals. In the end, they turned up, got to the vip artist bar for an interview with Channel 4 and Nelly grabbed them for a quick photo opportunity. Nelly and I with Mic, Travis and Claudio. I stood between Claudio and Mic. Too hot. I could have had a chat with them but I went miserably shy. What a twat. The lovely Coheed manager, Blaze snapped away and the band ran off right afterwards to get ready for their performance. Shame. I wish I could have chatted with bassist Mic Todd. I'm a sucker for witty peeps with gorgeous blue eyes.

That day, since Nelly was working, I spent a lot of time with her sister, Silvye who suffered through my insane obsession with Coheed and Cambria. What if they didnt turn up? What if they turned up but we'd miss them? What if they didnt play "The Hound"? As it happened, they didnt...The countdown to Sancho (every hour on the hour) took a deeply obsessive turn at around midday. When they finally got on stage, Nelly and I screamed like a couple of teenage dickheads on speed. When they kicked off with "Welcome Home", we ruptured an artery each. People around us stepped out of the way. Then "Ten Speed (of God's Blood and Burial)", "A Favour House Atlantic", "The End Complete III: The End Complete", "No World for Tomorrow", "Gravemakers and Gunslingers", "In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth: 3"...Nelly and I were high on Sancho for the rest of the day. The day after, I kept talking about that awesome performance to anybody that would ask me what I thought of the bands on Saturday and I even chewed Coheed manager's Blaze's ear off about Sancho again at the Kerrang! Awards on Monday, 3rd August. On Sunday 2nd August, I happened to meet a guy who is just as insane about Coheed as this Biatch - Craig. We're now friends on Facebook. How old am I, again?

Anyway, the bloody pic with Sancho is in Nelly's camera and she has not downloaded it yet...I am dying to see it big on screen now...

Meanwhile in the VIP artist bar, Silvye and I mingled with a bunch of industry peeps and the odd musician (even though I only had eyes for Coheed). The lovely Gillian introduced us to Griffin (16) and Austin Dickinson (18), the two lovely boys whose father is best known as the vocalist in Iron Maiden. Lovely boys. Though, no, I was a perfect lady this time around. Austin's band 'Rise To Remain' performed at Sonisphere on the Sunday...but since they went on at the ungodly hour of 12:15, I missed them. Damn. The boys told me that Lauren (Harries) was also around, though I didnt bump into her until the night of the Kerrang! Awards...


Bands I watched by mistake on Saturday:

SOIL - new vocalist sings like a pre-pubescent boy whose voice is breaking any min.
ALIEN ANT FARM - are they still relevant?

Bands I heard on the way to the tent where COHEED AND CAMBRIA were supposed to perform:

HEAVEN AND HELL - very cool, Dio still got the lungs of the gods.

Next, Sunday at Sonisphere...Killing Joke, Mastodon, Alice In Chains, Lamb of God, Nine Inch Nails...

Metallica will have their own post and so will the Kerrang! Awards...

Mashed Head Pee